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Starting A New Year (Sort of)

A friend of mine called on Wednesday and asked me how our school year had ended.  I told her then that we had just started back the day before.  Sort of.  

 We start back with math and finish up the Explode the Code book they were working on at the end of the year.  But, it's just one math lesson a day instead of 2 like they normally do during the school year.  Starting this way takes a little pressure off the rest of our year.  I also noticed that the kids and I both needed a little more structure.  One full month of playing was enough for them.  

 So, we've begun.

 This year is a little different.  Eli starts kindergarten, Sami's in 2nd, and Autumn's in 5th.  Usually my room is already to go before the other year ends.  Not so this year!  We started Tuesday with my room in chaos.  Still we pulled out math and just did math.  I have a lot of work to do this week.  Notebooks to get in order. New materials to organize (and old ones to get in order too!).  I feel a bit overwhelmed.  

 So, I work a bit on things and then take a break.  Today on my agenda is making Eli's planner page, binding his handwriting workbook, compiling Sami and Autumn's materials, organizing what's in the basement, and then trying to organize the work from last year.  There's actually no way that all of this will get done today.  I know it.  So, I'll start at the top of the list and work from there.

 My husband asked me last weekend how I feel about this upcoming year.  I'm not sure.  Excited.  I don't if I"ll know until we get into it.  I feel quite overwhelmed.  Period.  There's a lot to do.  I am starting to think that's just the way life is--there's always more to do.  

 So, what then?  How do I cope with feeling overwhelmed?  I'm not sure.  I think the first step is keeping my priorities straight--meals, school, laundry...  then extras fit in after that.  That's where I get caught.  There's so many things I want to do.  

 I read an essay this past weekend that watered some seeds in my heart that God planted a lot time ago.  I'm still reading Who Loves Thee, Little Lamb? by Walt Wangerin, Jr.  One of the essays is on Motherhood.  He explains that every mom sacrifices a core part of herself for her children while they need her.  When it is voluntary it is a sacrifice, but when it forced upon a mom--it is oppression.  Oppression leads to bitterness and resentment.  I see such resentment in my heart at times when my motives aren't right.

 My prayer this year is that the Lord would help me each day to sacrifice voluntarily so that I can give my kids what they need--me.



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