Monday, December 19, 2011

Where to Begin

I'm not even sure where to begin.  So much has happened in the last month and a half that I want to write about.

So, I'll start here.

We did move last weekend.  The closing on our new home was very hard and even before we closed we could see that problems with the house were likely ahead.  There were a few that we new about.  What we've found though is much more.  There are little and big problems.

There are so many shows on television about rehabbing houses, fixing up your old house, decorating rooms, finding treasures that one thought was trash...  They make moving look fun, full of work, and doable.  I think they also romanticize and idealize it!  They make us think that different and new is better than what the present is.

I had a lot of time to think about this the past two weeks.

After our pre-closing inspection showed issues, we were a bit jittery.  Our closing did nothing to settle my nerves as the house's owner started telling crazy stories about the neighbors.  I kept my mouth shut and reminded myself that God is sovereign.  He knew and still knows all about the neighbors.  We left our closing without keys--because she didn't have them!  We drove to the house hoping to find them in the mailbox.  Thankfully, they were there.  But, we resolved to have the locks changed before nightfall--not knowing who had keys!

My courage began to fail me.  We drove over to a friend's house and he came back with his son to look over the house with us.  A little while later another friend from church also came over.  The three men, including my husband, discovered multiple issues not discovered in the home inspection (that clearly should have been).  But, I knew we weren't alone.  God was with us and so was our church family.  We have friends now that we can ask for help.

My body, on the other hand, broke down.  I got really sick that night.  The past 30 days had been very stressful.  I finally got to the point where I couldn't go anymore.  It was hard to realize this about myself.  I've always just been able to do what I needed to do.  I've had kind friends warn me before that this would happen.  And they were right.

I woke up Tuesday still sick.  I was overwhelmed by it all--the work to be done before we moved in 4 days later--the work we expected with the addition of a lot of work we didn't expect!  My body forced me to take it slow.  I slowly started moving and by the afternoon was able to paint.  Each day that week held more of the same.  A slow recovery in the morning (which shortened as the week went on) and  then painting.  By the end of the week all 4 bedrooms were painted and the den.

My heart and body flagged, but my husband picked up the ball and kept going.  I was very proud of him and thankful for him.  One afternoon one of my friends came with her son to help paint.  That was such a help!  Friday night came and some friends and their children came and helped us pack up all the dishes the owner had left and unpack our dishes we'd already brought over among other things.  We got the rooms ready to have things moved in!

Saturday arrived and moving day came.  All the last minute preparations...  Four hours after we'd begun everything from the house (or almost everything) was inside our new home.  And the work of unpacking began...

There's so much unsettling that occurs in moving--before, during, and after.  It takes time to pack, move, and unpack.  I think it takes more time to unpack and feel settled than the preparations.  I wanted my children and husband to feel comfortable right away, but that wasn't to happen.  I think, though, that we're surprisingly settled for being here 9 days.  You know when you have that long list of things to do and you don't know if it's ever going to end?  And you don't feel like you're making progress because a new big thing gets added every day?  That's how the last week has felt.  So, we just kept pressing on.  When my husband's spirits flagged, I kept going.  He did it the first week.  It was my turn the second week.  I did get a bad chest cold this week which made it difficult.  

Our pastor spoke yesterday about happiness and joy.  Happiness is very difficult to maintain because life is full of struggle.   Happiness only lasts for a moment.  Seeking happiness is a continual search.  Joy on the other hand is rooted in our faith in Christ and the knowledge of what God did for us on the cross.  There has been a lot of struggle the past two weeks, but I have peace about our home and I know that God is growing us through all of this.  Growth isn't easy or painless.  I keep reminding myself of this!  

So, that's where I'm at.  I'm learning my limits.  I'm thinking about the little blessings that God has for us in this house and tackling the problems one by one with my husband.  I'm learning to be content with everything not fixed.  I'm learning a lot of things right now--or at least trying to!

Psalm 25[a]
    Of David.
 1 In you, LORD my God,
   I put my trust.
 2 I trust in you;
   do not let me be put to shame,
   nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one who hopes in you
   will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
   who are treacherous without cause.
 4 Show me your ways, LORD,
   teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
   for you are God my Savior,
   and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,
   for they are from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth
   and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
   for you, LORD, are good.
 8 Good and upright is the LORD;
   therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
   and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
   toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, LORD,
   forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
 12 Who, then, are those who fear the LORD?
   He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
   and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
   he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
   for only he will release my feet from the snare.
 16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
   for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
   and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
   and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
   and how fiercely they hate me!
 20 Guard my life and rescue me;
   do not let me be put to shame,
   for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
   because my hope, LORD,[c] is in you.
 22 Deliver Israel, O God,
   from all their troubles!

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