Friday, March 24, 2017

An Amazing Book--A Must Read for Parents

A while back, I began to read a new book that's just been published.  It's titled different: The Story of an Outside-the-box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him by Nathan and Sally Clarkson.  When I had seen the description of this book, I had been very curious about it.  One of my very favorite parenting books is The Journey of the Strong Willed Child by Kendra Smiley.  One of the things I love most about that book is that it includes both her perspective, her husband's perspective, and her son's.  I learned so much from seeing their different sides.  This book by Nathan and Sally Clarkson is very helpful in that same way--it is written by both Sally Clarkson, the mom, and Nathan Clarkson, her son.

This book tackles many issues parents struggle with today: anxiety, depression, ADHD, and mental
illness.  Nathan lives with OCD, anxiety, and depression.  Sally homeschooled Nathan and his siblings throughout their growing up years, so she lived with these companions of Nathan's day in and day out.  Two of her other children also live with OCD as well.  She intimately knows what it means to struggle to love your child through the ups and downs of life.  Nathan knows what it is to live with these struggles.

This book is not meant to be a one-size fits all approach to parenting children with mental illness, rather it is meant to be an encouragement to parents who are walking through these things with their own children.  But, I would recommend this to all parents.  Why?  Why would I recommend it even if your children do not live with mental illness?

Because you will know someone who is--whether you have a friend who is living with mental illness or a friend who's child lives with mental illness.  It is important to have compassion and understanding for one another.  It is especially important to be aware of these things so that we can love people well in the church!  Medicine continues to face such stigma in the church when it comes to mental illness--so much so that it is often an impediment to people getting help when they really need it.

I want to include two quotes from the book that deeply encouraged me.  The first is from Nathan on page 186.

"The TRUTH is, we live in a deeply fractured world, and we don't always have a choice about being broken.  But we do have a choice about where we let our  brokenness lead us.

We can follow it into escape or addition.

But we can also follow it straight to God.  To the One who knows us inside and out--with all our mistakes, broken parts, insecurities, and battles--and who still loves us."

And from Sally Clarkson on page 193:

"I had to learn that God never intended me to judge my children's value by how well they fit the assembly line of cultural expectations or my own dreams of what I thought motherhood should be like."

Yes!!  I believe this to be true for every child.  I have watched my children and seen the times when other adults see them for who they are and also when adults and children have expected them to fit a mold.  There was a time when I was troubled that one of my children didn't fit the mold (and still doesn't).  But, I'm no longer troubled by it because I've seen that what wasn't seen to fit has actually now become a gift!

If you are looking for a book on mental illness, parenting, and children, I'd highly recommend reading this one.  But, honestly, I think it would be an interesting and good read for any parent!

Please note that I received a complimentary copy of this book from Tyndale publishing, but these opinions are my own!

Are My Kids on Track?

Are My Kids on Track? is the title of a new book by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan.  Every parent wants to know whether they are doing right by their kids.  Are we doing enough?  Are we preparing our kids for life?  Are we loving them well?  Are we good parents?

A few years ago, I read my favorite parenting book--Growing Grateful Kids.  In that book, Susie Larson says that we can't give ourselves something we don't have ourselves--so we still need to work first on our own hearts (with the Lord's help) rather than simply focus on what we see that we want to see fixed in our kids hearts.  That piece of advice has been a huge one for me that always lingers in the back of my brain.  It also dovetails nicely with this book.

Goff, Thomas, and Trevathan tackle some of the difficult life and emotional milestones of children's development.  They give separate insight and advice for boys and girls in each chapter.  Yes, they are wired differently!  I read through various pieces of advice from this book and found that the writing
sounds like counselor's voices.  The voices don't sound like that of Growing Grateful Kids or Journey of a Strong-Willed Child.  The tone of this book is more like a textbook or a reference book.  It is focused on parenting K-12th graders.  It isn't about parenting little ones.

I really like that the authors identify both stumbling blocks and building blocks for boys and girls.
One example is what the authors wrote about the stumbling block of entitlement for boys.  There was the simple insight that boys stumble here when they believe the rules don't apply to them.  Hmm... Something to think about and something to make sure I convey to my son.

Your children or my children may not struggle with all of the stumbling blocks, but if you see some they do, the book may be helpful.    I like that the authors come back to the Word of God.  I also like that the authors continually encourage parents to look at their own patterns of behavior and responding to life and how those patterns influence their children's responses.

But, the biggest thing I would say after reading this book is that we need to love our children for who they are--not who who want them to be--or even think they should be.  As parents, we want our children to become who God has for them to be.  If you're looking for some ideas about how to tackle some emotional stumbling blocks your children are wrestling with, this may be a book worth checking out!

Please note that I received a copy of this book from Bethany House books, but that this review contains my own opinions.

When the ending doesn't work...

This afternoon I finished a book by one of my favorite authors, but I cringed.  The ending didn't work!  But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

A while back, Ann Gabhart published the first book in her Hidden Springs Mystery series, Murder at the Courthouse.  I enjoyed her foray into writing a mystery.  The second book in the series was published, Murder Comes by Mail, was again a fun read!  So, I looked forward to the third book in this series when I discovered it was set to come out this spring!  Murder No Accident followed right along with the main character, Michael.

As the deputy sheriff in Hidden Springs, Michael has a pretty calm life--except the occasional murder.  There is his Aunt Lindy, the matriarch of the town, and the lawyer next door who is the grandfather of the girls he's loved since he was a kid.  The book can be read alone, but you get to
know the characters over the course of the trilogy.

In this third book, Murder No Accident, of course there is a murder that Michael must solve.  At first, he wants to believe it is an accident, but as the story goes on Michael realize that it wasn't an accident.  The story moves slowly and only picks up the pace at the very end.

But, I didn't enjoy this book as much as the first two.  I recommend the first two heartily! They are fun to read.  My enjoyment of this book, though, was diminished by the ending.  The way I read the ending someone was guilty and the response of the characters didn't make sense to me.  Then, the very, very ending of the book seemed out of character for it.  It sounded like Ms. Gabhart's other books, but not this one.  Her writing style has been different in these mysteries and I have enjoyed it.
I was so puzzled by these two things.  The climax and ending of a book can make or break it, in my opinion.  In this case, the book wasn't the same for me after I had finished the ending.

If you're looking for a fun, pretty wholesome mystery that isn't very graphic, I'd highly recommend this series!  But, I'd also recommend sticking with the first two books of the series and not the third.

Please note that I received a copy of this book for review from Revell books, but these opinions are very much my own and how I felt after reading the book!