We're not moving. We're staying put in our home where we are. For the past five weeks, our house has been on the market. We've looked and asked so many people questions about commutes and where they live. It's always interesting to watch God help us put the pieces of a puzzle together. It's hard to see the picture sometimes until the last piece is in place.
My husband has a long commute. We were considering moving closer to his work. We looked all over, but found that we liked most where we are now. He also learned how long his co-workers' commutes were over the course of many conversations.
Often, I find perspective changes things. Someone expressed concern that I might be afraid of change. I understood this concern. It's a valid concern and in the past I was afraid of moving. But, this time I wasn't. God had worked on my heart and taught me a lot of lessons. In the past five weeks, he's impressed upon me several things.
1) I am me. Some people will like me and some people won't. It's okay.
Being a people pleaser who grew up with very few friends, I want everyone to like me. But, God reminded me, with love, that not everyone will like me. But, that doesn't make me "unlikeable" or less of a person. I am me. I love watching people I know and seeing them with people they are good friends with. I see the gift that God has given them in those friendships and it brings me joy. I also am so blessed every time I think of my good friends and the gift God has given me.
But, we all have different personalities. And some of those personalities clash and rub each other the wrong way. This is okay.
It is also okay to continually put myself out on a limb.
Two things made me cry yesterday.
First, I went to the pharmacist. I was frustrated because they missed one of our monthly prescriptions again and the request hadn't been received by my doctor. It's for my son and it matters a lot to me. I went to talk to the manager and learned that he keeps the prescription on hand that I need. It will always be there. I was so struck by this kindness and thought for my family. He knew it was a big deal to me. I had gotten upset with the pharmacy because of the error, but had apologized for my words at the same time. I received a lot of grace from this pharmacist and I was blessed by how the Lord used him to care for my family.
Then, I told the mail lady we were staying. She beamed at me. She explained that she had prayed for our move, but also asked the Lord if we could stay if there was any way for that to happen. She didn't want us to move. My mail lady didn't want us to move.
2) When someone doesn't want to be cared about, let go and move on.
A few weeks ago when I was out, I saw someone who I had wanted to befriend for a long time. But, she never let me. I approached her and asked how she was...how her family was... life... But, I knew as I asked her these questions that she didn't want me to care about her. And I knew I should walk on and let go. I care so much about people. But, the Lord helped me see that I need to care about people that want to be cared about--and that will let me. Sometimes people don't want me to and I need to be okay with that.
I think about how Jesus told the disciples to shake the dust off their feet and walk on when the people don't want to hear about Him. That was what I thought about that day.
There's more lesson too, but that's the start of my list. I'm afraid that my day is getting started now so I better scoot. I'm still processing and learning from all this move we considered making.