Friday, March 30, 2012

Life--not quite as we expect it

Last week, I was talking with a friend and she commented to me that her life just wasn't what she thought it would be when she got to the age she is now.  I understood.  I would say the same thing.  Actually, I have said it--to my mom several times over the years.  

My husband's coming home tonight after being gone or a few days.  We do not have one of those marriages where people never fight or argue.  I have heard there are a few of those out there.  Though we agree on many things, we also often disagree and we're both strong willed.  There are things I did before I was married that I don't get to do anymore.  He could say the same.  Sometimes it's because of limited time or resources.  Sometimes there's other reasons.

On Sunday, one of the young women at our church wanted to tell me about a local ballroom dancing spot, so that I could go.  I smiled and gently told her that I can't.  My husband doesn't like to dance.  She replied that she didn't take a partner.  I responded that I just couldn't do that--I'm married and it would be weird.  It feel very wrong somehow.  Dancing is something I don't do anymore.  I miss it a lot.

But, though I've given some things up, my life isn't the same when my husband is absent.  We complement each other.  He gives me structure--even when my mind and heart rebel.  I'd choose my husband over dance any day.  I love him and I'm glad he's on his way home.  

Life is like that I think.  We have one idea of what it will be or should be-- and it often simply isn't.  I had so many ideas when I graduated high school of what I thought my life would be like.  I had ideas of what the man would marry, if I married, would be like.  Then, I married, and I had ideas of what I thought marriage would be like.  

My ideas were not the same as God's ideas for my life.  But, I am thankful that I can trust that His plan is much better than mine would have been.  It feels like he gives me glimpses and reminders of this.  My husband's absence is one of those.  I love my husband and I am thankful for him.  I am thankful for how he loves me and our kids--and how he has treated my mom since she moved in with us.  He and I are often the iron that sharpens iron.  We disagree at times because we are not the same person, but there's no one else I'd rather talk to.  I think that's what marriage is.  


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