Yesterday, my brother called and shared with me that he'd read something that really scared him last week. It was an exposition about global warming. He explained that it had huge implications for where we live and for the United States. He also explained that none of it was new information, it was simply and succinctly reiterated and it caused him to fear for us--for the world.
I responded that I know global warming is real, but I can't get lost worrying about it, because I realize I can't change it personally. I consume the least energy I can, recycle, tried to compost (and failed this summer), don't drive unless I need to... It's very easy for me to get taken over by fears. I think it is for most of us. For the past year, I've struggled with our home. I thought we were buying a solid house that needed only easy cosmetic work like painting--little did I know how wrong I was! We've worked so hard to fix this house and we've still more to do. At the heart of it all, I think I struggled with the feeling that we'd tried so hard to do things "right", but in the end there were so many more glitches than we expected. I've been caught on the "what if we hadn't purchased this house?" instead of accepting it and reminding myself of the prayers and how everything came together. I need to trust God in the easy and hard things. I've been amazed at my heart and what's been in it. I had finally settled much of my fear after Hurricane Sandy, but it comes back so quickly.
A good friend of mine said something very wise to me last week. She mentioned that God brings people into our lives that are easy to live with and ones that are hard. The hard ones are just as important. God uses them to grow us, just as he also uses the relationships that are easy. I think I often only want the easy people and the easy things in life to grow me. But, the trials, suffering, and people I conflict with are important. So, are my fears. I have two choices with my fears--to dwell and cave or to turn to God with them.
Although My brother's comments weren't intended to overly upset me and they seem benign, I knew I needed to come back to God's Word. I felt like I needed to open up a commentary a good friend gave me two years ago by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones this morning. I found this quote:
"The thing that is being forgotten by the vast majority of people is that the really important fact in the world today is God's activity--what God is doing, not what men are doing." p. 2 God's Way of Reconciliation
God is in control, not man. I need to remember not to get mired down in fear, but rather turn to God and trust Him and his plan. We prayed about where we would live. We've trusted God for provision every step of the way. It's easy for me to fall into the trap and think that we are the ones who are providing by our efforts. But, I know it is God who is providing. Our efforts do matter and we are to be good, faithful stewards of the abilities and gifts He's given us.
So, today, I'm going to enjoy my children, the ability to sit down to breakfast, lunch, and dinner with them. I'm going to be wise and purchase the food we need when I go shopping. I had no idea what the past year and a half would hold when it began. Yet, this is where we are now. Sometimes I am surprised by my weakness and propensity to doubt. I need to remember the truth.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Post script... I'm sorry if this post seems rambling and jumpy, it is all the thoughts running through my head this morning.