Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Looking Back

Life is painful.  For the past few days, I've felt tears at the back of my eyes begging to be released.  I felt a sadness creeping in.  I wanted to curl up and cry.  God has given me peace about much of the suffering that I've walked through in life, but sometimes it comes back up to haunt me.  My heart hurts.  

I know we all walk through suffering.  Suffering is a part of this life.  So, what do we do with it when it comes back up?  That is the question I began to ponder.

1. Sometimes there are lies deeply embedded in our thinking that have to be rooted out so that we can walk forward.  
2. Sometimes we find ourselves dwelling in and reliving the pain of the past.
3. Sometimes we look back and see how God has carried us through the trials of our lives.

Last night, my husband pointed out to me that Satan would like us to focus on #2.  He wants us to dwell there and feel the pain again.  To hold onto it so that God's love and grace will be crowded out.  I think he recognized this because we've already gone over #1 before and had many #1 type discussions over the years.

He encouraged me focus on #3 and to not let myself get stuck in the past.  He's right.  When I look back, I need to look for and see what God did and has done.  I need to look for the reminders God has given me of His faithfulness.  I need to remember my past so that I will remember Him and who HE is.  

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