Families are on one hand happy, loving things. On the other, they can also be full of conflict, struggles, and trials. Sometimes I get very impatient with mine. I love my husband and kids, but sometimes I get frustrated.
Four years ago, a friend lost his wife and two kids in a pedestrian accident with a drunk driver. Every time I think of them, I choke up. I was friends with his wife and with him. They were on again off again for several years and then she played hard to get. She even moved away, I think I heard. Ultimatum time. He decided he couldn't live without her, flew out to see her, and proposed. They married and then had two children who would be the same ages as my oldest two. It sounds like they had a wonderful marriage and enjoyed their kids a ton.
It's so hard to understand such suffering that this friend has gone through over the past two years. He's an old friend, so I really have no idea how he's doing. but, I grieve with him. And I am reminded to be thankful for my family--my children and my husband.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My husband is out of town for a few days on a business trip. I'm surprised by the lessons I'm learning this time. No matter how much we struggle, I am a better person with him than without him. Our family isn't the same without him. Sometimes it's hard to see that in the midst of conflict--how much we all need each other, but we do.
Thinking back on this family gave me much patience tonight as my little Eli came to the top of the stairs not once or twice, but four times with tears struggling to get to sleep. I said to Autumn how thankful I was for her tonight and that no matter whether I get upset or not, I always love her and Sami too. Sami was thrilled tonight when I told her I had ordered her a book that was a very special Sami book just for her. I am very thankful for them and will be glad when my husband returns to us at the end of the week.
I also grieve and pray for my friend. I don't know how he is, but I can only imagine that he has easy days and hard days. There are no easy words or right words to say.
Showing posts with label Thankfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thankfulness. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Connecting the Dots
God has been connecting the dots in my head today.
The dots began with my Bible study this morning. I'm working my way through the study Becoming a Woman of Prayer by Cynthia Heald. The question that really struck me this morning was about several verses that said we need to pray with thanksgiving (one of them being Philipians 4:6-7). The question was--why do we need to pray with a thankful heart? I immediately thought about what a wise question it was. I think we need to pray with a thankful heart because it helps us see God not with the eyes of a taker (I deserve/need such and such), but as a giver (one who does not expect or demand of others). When we come with a thankful heart, we have no sense of entitlement. Rather, we have a sense of how much we do not deserve and have been blessed with.
Next, I read the forward and first chapter of Growing Grateful Kids. Gary Chapman wrote the forward and he wrote something that blew me away! I'm going to paraphrase a little, but basically, he noted that when kids are simply given whatever they want and grow up without boundaries, they eventually become adults who are "takers" rather than "givers" and they will never be able to have healthy adult relationships. As takers, their friends and spouses will never be able to give them enough to satisfy them. Givers enjoy loving others and do not demand or feel entitled. They are able to be satisfied in their relationships because they recognize that the relationship is not all about them.
In the first chapter of her book, Susie Larson talks about how we cannot give our children something we do not ourselves possess. In desiring our children to grow grateful hearts, we must first have grateful hearts ourselves. We need to model for our children what it looks like to have a grateful heart and what that means.
I do desire my children to have grateful hearts and I've always articulated it to myself as struggling with the entitlement mentality. The way Gary Chapman articulated it hit me hard. When he identified what being a taker means in relationships, it made complete sense to me. That is one of the consequences of having an entitlement mentality.
I am looking forward to reading more of Growing Grateful Kids tomorrow =)
The dots began with my Bible study this morning. I'm working my way through the study Becoming a Woman of Prayer by Cynthia Heald. The question that really struck me this morning was about several verses that said we need to pray with thanksgiving (one of them being Philipians 4:6-7). The question was--why do we need to pray with a thankful heart? I immediately thought about what a wise question it was. I think we need to pray with a thankful heart because it helps us see God not with the eyes of a taker (I deserve/need such and such), but as a giver (one who does not expect or demand of others). When we come with a thankful heart, we have no sense of entitlement. Rather, we have a sense of how much we do not deserve and have been blessed with.
Next, I read the forward and first chapter of Growing Grateful Kids. Gary Chapman wrote the forward and he wrote something that blew me away! I'm going to paraphrase a little, but basically, he noted that when kids are simply given whatever they want and grow up without boundaries, they eventually become adults who are "takers" rather than "givers" and they will never be able to have healthy adult relationships. As takers, their friends and spouses will never be able to give them enough to satisfy them. Givers enjoy loving others and do not demand or feel entitled. They are able to be satisfied in their relationships because they recognize that the relationship is not all about them.
In the first chapter of her book, Susie Larson talks about how we cannot give our children something we do not ourselves possess. In desiring our children to grow grateful hearts, we must first have grateful hearts ourselves. We need to model for our children what it looks like to have a grateful heart and what that means.
I do desire my children to have grateful hearts and I've always articulated it to myself as struggling with the entitlement mentality. The way Gary Chapman articulated it hit me hard. When he identified what being a taker means in relationships, it made complete sense to me. That is one of the consequences of having an entitlement mentality.
I am looking forward to reading more of Growing Grateful Kids tomorrow =)
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