This morning the kids and I were blessed to get to spend time with a friend and her children. The other mom, my friend, and I snuck bits of conversation in amidst talking to our kids, getting them what they needed, putting coats on and off, eating, walking... Bits is a good word. Altogether they made a conversation, but on their own, they would be "bits". That's what life is with kids, isn't it?
I was struck as the kids and I left them by something that I have been pondering. As much as I learned about my two strong willed children in the past two weeks, I also learned a lot about me. I am very black and white. I am loyal to the core. I am a mama bear to my children, husband, and friends. I don't live in the grey area very easily. If there is something that my attention is drawn to, I feel the need to decide what I "think" about it. It's hard for me to let things go.
What came to my mind this morning is something that I've said about homeschooling. I believe firmly that if you are a homeschooling parent that it is important to remember that you are the teacher that your child needs. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, but at the end of the day God knows our temperament and our children's temperaments and how they're wired. And I have seen in my own family and in my friends how God has matched us all up.
In this same way, we are the parents our children need. God does everything on purpose. (Rom. 8:28) Parenting is hard. At least, I think so. One day I'll feel good about what I've done that day and the next I'm humbled deeply what I have or haven't done! Even so, we are the parents our children need. I'm a pretty strict parent, I think. My friend and I were talking about strictness this morning in regard to parenting. If something works for my family that doesn't mean that it is the answer for another family.
I realized that there is no one size fits all or "right" answer about parenting. Parenting books that say they have the answers are off the mark, I think. I don't think there's a silver bullet. But, there is hope. I think there are right perspectives on parenting. We need to remember what God has called us to in His Word.
Deuteronomy 11:19 ESV You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
...I wrote this post a few weeks ago and never finished it up. I'm going to let it end itself there.