What My Kids Give Me

What my kids give me:

Their Patience.

Their Love.

Their trust and belief in me.

Their forgiveness.

Joy.

Last week, Time Magazine ran a cover article about "The Childfree Life: when having it all means not having children". On yahoo, there were two columnists that posted their dialogue about the article and many others in the media weighed in. I read in one article on the LA Times which mentioned that most dialogue has been focused on whether a couple's decision to be childless is right or wrong.

My concern about the cover article of Time was not a matter of right or wrong. I do have friends who've decided not to have kids. Most of them for health reasons.

But, I remember one friend (who got married before I did) telling me that she and her husband never wanted to have kids. She was honest with me and said, "We're just too selfish. We like our life the way it is and don't want to change it." I was a bit taken aback. I hadn't considered this before she openly shared this with me. Ten years later I found that friend on Facebook (in the old days when I was on Facebook) and discovered that she and her husband had a son. I smiled. Something must have changed.

One of the things I am regularly confronted by as a parent is my selfishness. When I got married, I glimpsed my selfishness and had to learn to compromise. But, when I had kids I saw it even more. Except the thing is that as a mom I didn't have a choice. I had to push through it. My kids needed me.

I still struggle with selfishness. I get tired. I know my own weaknesses and know that I'm not a perfect parent. But, I also wouldn't give it up for the world.

I also can't imagine growing up and being alone. Not having children or grandchildren. Not having nieces and nephews. Being alone. I can't imagine missing out on the joy I had tonight watching Sami play soccer for the first time or Eli run around the goal post in the middle of the pack. I can't imagine not laughing with my children at silly jokes they make up about "hot" dogs in the car today. I can't imagine not being there when they needed me today.

I can't imagine missing out on having my kids.

I am not so much angered by the article, but saddened by it. Our culture believes that being happy comes from having the "things" we want. What people miss is that it is the "people" not the "things" that bring joy and memories into our lives. No "thing" could take up the space that my kids take up in my heart.

Missing Pieces

The other day I was discussing a book with my mom and explaining to her my concern about how "blame" is cast upon the child in the story. My mom commented about how deeply I read and consider what is written. Sometimes I wonder if I go overboard. Am I questioning too much? Am I overreacting? Why am I reacting this way? I come back to knowing that God wired me this way. But, I also reflect on how God has guided my path through the maze of books I've read over the past few years and what I've learned from the books themselves and from reading them. Recently, I read a book that troubled me. The book I finished reading was Guiltless Living by Ginger Hubbard. When I began reading it, I found myself puzzled and then disconcerted. And in the end, I cried. But, I cried for a different reason than one might suspect. I'd like to explain. I did not read Ms. Hubbard's previous book “ Don't Make Me Count to Three ”, but I knew from f...

listening or rather not listening to directions...

This week has been very eye opening. I am observing and noticing what I need to learn in order to be a better homeschooling mom and teacher and what my daughter needs to learn to be a good homeschooling student. My weakness when I was a teacher in a first grade classroom was not understanding how small concepts had to be broken down--and I lost my patience very quickly. This week, in particular today, I am seeing how detailed my directions need to be. I am going to be working very consciously and deliberately on this. On the other hand, I realized that my daughter does not listen! Wowsers! In a classroom, Autumn listens very well. She is a compliant child and very influenced by peer pressure and conformity. So, she listens along with everyone else and follows directions. But, at home, it's just Autumn and maybe Sami and Mommy. Very, very different! I had forgotten that most of kindergarten in the public schools is not focused on teaching students academic and learning co...

Writing A Homeschool Teacher Resume

I'm helping a friend who's switching jobs write a resume. She hasn't written one in years, so this is something new. I began working on her resume, but then stopped to write my own because I thought it might be helpful. Being a homeschool teacher may not seem to many like an occupation or career, but it is. I used the combined form of resume for myself. I began with the basic information, then moved on to strengths (the combined skills/experience part), education, Occupational Experience, then Related Experience, Certifications, Computer Skills, and mentioned at the end... References Available Upon Request. Sometimes homeschooling parents have to reenter the workplace because of family changes and needs. How could you express what you've been doing in a way that's acceptable for a resume? Well, here's my take on it... Teacher, Homeschool ...

love to paint

Search This Blog