love to paint

I realized tonight that I am a hard person to love.  I am the person who interrupts and misspeaks and doesn't always listen very well.  I am the person who may be preoccupied and asks you to repeat yourself.  I am the person who misses the cues about what is said and what isn't said.   It feels horrible to be that person.  You know, I don't ever mean to be.   I try. I really genuinely try.  But, these things still happen.  I still misspeak and miss social and verbal cues. I was told once to think the best of someone and give them the benefit of the doubt.   Tonight, I was with a group of gals and one of the topics was how we would respond to someone who was hard to talk to.  The thought that was in my mind was that often we don't know what's in the other person's head and heart--where they've come from and what their day's been like.  And that God often gives us people in our lives that are not easy for us to love. ...

God is continuing to knock on my heart about love and what it looks like to love others well. Sometimes these lessons come from the absence of love's expression to make me see what it looks like and other times it comes from the presence of its expression to see it. I will try to explain more tomorrow when my tears have stopped falling. But, for now... Tomorrow, my goal is to tell someone something that I think they do really well and tell them a strength that I see in them. Would you want to join me in this? My hope is that we will share God's love and lighten each other's steps! =)

Last night, I watched the movie "I Hate Valentine's Day" with Nia Vardalos and John Corbett. I'm not sure if what I did can really count as watching the whole movie though because I fast forwarded through over half the movie. But, I watched the last quarter in full. The first 3/4 is completely predictable and I actually was irritated by Vardalos' character, so I just fast forwarded to see what would happen. There was some wisdom in the last 1/4 that I wanted to write about. (*Please note that this entry is full of spoilers about the movie) The main character, Genevieve, has always thought that romance is love. Her dad cheated on her mom after 25 years and when her mom found out, she cried and he chose to leave her. The dad calls his daughter periodically and leaves messages for her. Towards the end, she finally confronts her dad and tells him that he should have done what he did--he shouldn't have had an affair. You can tell he has no remorse and he r...

There are moments when I want to cry because I am falling a part. There are other moments when I want to cry out of wonder and amazement and sheer gratefulness. I am having one of the latter kind right now. It was hard year for me--this past year. I experienced a lot of rejection and walked through some hard struggles. At the end, I wanted to turn inward and refuse to lean on anyone again. I figured I just needed to pull up my pants and walk strong--on my own. But, there was only a part of me that wanted to do that--the hurt part. The other part, which is thankfully much larger, loves people so deeply that I can't live without them. And I don't think that I'm meant to. God calls us to live in community and to love one another. Last weekend, the kids and I got a stomach bug and I made myself take two friends up on their offers for help--one got some groceries for me and the other picked up 2 happy meals for the 2 kids that were able to eat. It was such an amazing ...