Holding My Tongue

I remember when I was in high school, my dad once told me that he could tell me who to be friends with and who I couldn't be friends with. As you can imagine, that didn't sit with me very well. Not very well at all.

At that point, I was a teenager who's father hadn't been around until high school. It felt like a little too late most of the time. He wanted to know every detail, but he hadn't been around. He wanted to know what was going on in my life when it was things that he could brag about. Even though I grew up in the 70s and 80s, I was a child in many ways who was to be seen and not heard.

I don't want that for my children. But, I find more and more that I want to influence my children from the beginning in how they relate to other children and become friends. I remember a mom telling me when Autumn was 6 months old that sharing is the hardest thing to teach a child. It turned out that Autumn was a natural one for sharing. But, Sami was not. Not at all! As I've watched my children, I've strongly come to believe that we have to teach our children how to be friends--how to treat others kindly. Children are constantly testing things out. If they say something mean or unkind and no one corrects them, they will likely keep on doing it. Why not, after all!

I think as much about how my children interact with others as how the other children interact with them. I am protective of my children. I see Autumn's soft heart and naivete. She is willing to follow and tag along. I don't think she would realize if she wasn't wanted around. Some people might say that she needs to learn that by hard knocks--trial and error. But, I think that once she realizes that some of the softness in her heart will get a little calloused--it will will have to. She did say something in the car today that made me realize she is starting to understand this, though. And then there's Sami. Well, for all of Sami's strong willed character, I see her follow older girls too often and see them order her around. My heart has hurt whenever I've seen this happen.

So, this morning the girls and I had a talk about how we treat our friends and others. We talked about whether or not we do something when someone tries to talk us into doing something that we know is wrong. We talked about being grateful and what that looks like. It was a good discussion. They both came up with examples so to show me that they understood. And then this afternoon, we were at a friend's house and Sami did something that the other girl knew was not okay in that house. I explained to Sami that when we realize we have done something wrong that we didn't know was wrong, then we need to apologize. And she did.

I've been thinking through a lot of things today and these are just a few of them. There are many things that are hard about parenting, but this is one that is very hard for me.

Comparison of Verses

Tonight I was reading the Mom's Bible again (NCV) and compared this verse: NCV Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the Savior of the body, which is the church. 24 As the church yields to Christ, so you wives should yield to your husbands in everything. NIV Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. The Message 22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewis...

Grieved

Why is it that my generation (I belong to Gen X) and generations after us always seem to think that they know more than the generations that have come before us? Why is there such a lack of respect in our generation for our elders? Why do we think that the liturgy of the church and hymns are irrelevant? It is ironic to me that the emergent movement is saying that the seeker sensitive movement is irrelevant. It seems as if it was only a few years ago when it was the seeker sensitive movement that said to the traditional church that it (the traditional church) was irrelevant. I'm reading a book with all of these big words and I want to be honest--I didn't understand a lot of it. I'm not dumb. I understood most of it, but the author was assuming a lot of background knowledge on the part of the reader. Most of the time I learn deep theological concepts and then I have to store them in my "attic" (as Autumn would say) because there isn't enough room in the ...

Missing Pieces

The other day I was discussing a book with my mom and explaining to her my concern about how "blame" is cast upon the child in the story. My mom commented about how deeply I read and consider what is written. Sometimes I wonder if I go overboard. Am I questioning too much? Am I overreacting? Why am I reacting this way? I come back to knowing that God wired me this way. But, I also reflect on how God has guided my path through the maze of books I've read over the past few years and what I've learned from the books themselves and from reading them. Recently, I read a book that troubled me. The book I finished reading was Guiltless Living by Ginger Hubbard. When I began reading it, I found myself puzzled and then disconcerted. And in the end, I cried. But, I cried for a different reason than one might suspect. I'd like to explain. I did not read Ms. Hubbard's previous book “ Don't Make Me Count to Three ”, but I knew from f...

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