It was strange easing back into things and attaching myself emotionally again. I hadn't realized how much I had detached myself emotionally. I had to. --I had to cope with everything going on here. I saw in that moment why deployments can spur on so many divorces. My husband and I were at peace with our relationship and each other when he came home. Whenever we've had conflicts during our phone calls, we've talked it through and not let things be. I worked hard not to resent him not being here to help me through all the stuff I had to tackle these past 2 1/2 months (between the blizzards, sickness, family issues, water in the basement, etc.), but remind myself that he loves us and that he takes care of providing for our family by working hard. It was my job to take care of things at home. By working hard, I mean that I prayed and worked on my self-talk with the Lord.
But, I thought that if a spouse left and either one really detached him/herself while gone, they could easily begin to focus on their discontent in their marriage rather than on resolving any conflicts that come up. Each one has to be independent to a large degree. They simply have to--they're too far apart to help the other. And if there was discontent present, it would be harder to come back together--there wouldn't be as much desire to reunite fully. They could hold part of themselves back when they return...one foot out the door and one in.
I'm thankful that God worked in our marriage during this time and now we have to get used to being back together again. There's an adjustment. So far, it's been easy =) But, I'm sure we'll have things to work through and many things for me to let go of. God's made me very aware this time of how much I need my husband--not for the physical help (though it's very helpful), but rather for what his presence does for me and our children. I went to bed at 9 p.m. last night--I haven't done that since December. But, now I'm up early enough to work out =) It was good to talk about so many things with him yesterday and feel understood.
Would you please pray for the families and servicemen who are deployed right now? I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if my husband was gone for 9 or 12 months. 2 1/2 felt like a very long time. Thank you for your prayers while he's been gone for us. =) It's made me think a lot about the sacrifice that our service members and their families make when they leave their families to serve our country.