I had my first follow-up appointment today. It went well and I am grateful. In some ways, I'm amazed that I was able to stay in my house for two weeks, not go anywhere, and not go stir crazy. I am thankful I have been occupied.
Two more weeks--then I can hopefully start PT and beginning to walk. Two more weeks of taking it easy and living while time passes.
In the waiting room, I had two conversations with different men. The first asked what happened. I explained that I had ankle surgery and had a good follow-up visit. He then replied that he wouldn't tell me what happened to his friends. I inferred that they had hard experiences.
The man sitting across from me shared about his ankle pain and arthritis. I felt bad for him and asked if he did exercises to strengthen his ankle. He was older and in his 70s. I commented that it was a blessing he could walk. I sympathized with his pain.
Pain is hard. I know it is. I've dealt with it so many times and in so many forms. It's often invisible. When you live with pain, you have a choice every day about how much you can bear with and how much you need to push through. My ankle in a cast is very visible pain but even so, sometimes people notice and sometimes they don't.
In my experience, sometimes people see you and sometimes they don't.
Yesterday, a little boy at the bagel shop thought I was a pirate because of my walking cast. I smiled and laughed. When people took the time to help my husband hold the door open for me at the bagel shop, I was very grateful.
Three weeks ago on the first day that I broke my ankle, I went to one of my appointments alone. I had to figure out how to open one of the doors at the doctor's office alone because I didn't have any help. It was the beginning of my journey and I sat in the lobby with tears afterwards. No one said anything to me. I pulled myself together and talked to the lady at the desk to figure out my next steps. And then I kept going.
When I think about pain, I think the best balm that helps make it more bearable is kindness.
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