love to paint

There are moments when I want to cry because I am falling a part. There are other moments when I want to cry out of wonder and amazement and sheer gratefulness. I am having one of the latter kind right now. It was hard year for me--this past year. I experienced a lot of rejection and walked through some hard struggles. At the end, I wanted to turn inward and refuse to lean on anyone again. I figured I just needed to pull up my pants and walk strong--on my own. But, there was only a part of me that wanted to do that--the hurt part. The other part, which is thankfully much larger, loves people so deeply that I can't live without them. And I don't think that I'm meant to. God calls us to live in community and to love one another. Last weekend, the kids and I got a stomach bug and I made myself take two friends up on their offers for help--one got some groceries for me and the other picked up 2 happy meals for the 2 kids that were able to eat. It was such an amazing ...

The Word of Promise (Bible on CD) I have been reading the Bible for as long as I can remember. I remember being given a Good News Bible when I was in third grade. When I was 14, my great grandmother gave me a copy of the Living Bible. When I went to college, I began to read the NIV and held onto a thin paperback copy for 4 years that I wrote all over. After I graduated from college, I really wanted a nice NIV study Bible and I saved up to buy one. I have held onto it ever since. Last year, I found a tiny ESV leatherbound Bible on clearance and it is now the one I carry with me in my purse. Interestingly enough, after all these years of reading the Bible, I have never listened to it on CD. I've often considered it. I've listened to lots of teaching on CD from Ravi Zacharias, John Piper, and others, but I've never actually listened to the Word on CD. Two weeks ago, I received a copy of the Word of Promise Bible on CD. I opened it up with excitement ...

I miss my husband at Bible Study. God has gifted him with the ability to teach, to understand theology, and to explain difficult Biblical concepts. Two weeks ago, the other folks in our small group and I were a bit stuck on how to answer one of the questions. Normally, the studies we have done come with a Leader's Guide and answers, but not this one. So, I went downstairs and grabbed the appropriate book from our Word Biblical Commentary series. I tried to find an answer, but it was difficult to sift through the words on the pages because of the formatting and how it was written. The Word Biblical Commentary is a very academic commentary which focuses a lot on linguistics. For personal study, I really like Warren Wiersbe's commentary books. It is an expository commentary. He focuses a lot on what is in the Word as well as what isn't, without reading a lot into the Bible. They're easy to read and not super heavy. Recently, I received one of the book...

Autumn lost her first tooth last night. It's been loose since before Christmas! She didn't want to wiggle it. But, this week it was practically falling out. Last night, she gave it a tiny twist and it came out. It looked so weird! I can't believe she's lost her first tooth! And the first thing to come to my mind was, "What if another one doesn't come in? I don't see one!" I know--such a silly thought, but it was genuinely what came to my mind. She put her tooth under her pillow and although she doesn't believe in Santa and knows the Tooth Fairy isn't real, she and I both pretended and she found a dollar under her pillow this morning. She's a sweetie.

"He who has ears, let him hear..." Matthew 11:15 NIV Yesterday, I was reading a book that I've been slowly making my way through since November. It is the Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges . It is not slow going because it is a bad book--it is actually a very good book, but it is very meaty and it takes me time to get through his books. When I was reading yesterday, everything went right over my head. I couldn't hear--I wasn't hearing. It just wasn't computing. Then, last night, I felt God convict me about how I needed to seek self-control in my life. Right now I am on my own for a while and I am thankful for these experiences because God uses them in my life (each of the times I've been on my own with the kids for several weeks). Throughout the fall we had a very steady routine, though there's always room for improvement. What I'm realizing now is that when there's someone else there, it's a lot easier to stay on track and do a...

Today we read a selection in Autumn's reading book about all the different types of houses in the world. Afterwards, the girls drew pictures of their dream houses. Autumn's: A house on the water. It looked like a normal house on top of a boat with frilly princess curtains =) Sami's: A castle So sweet.

I am in my mid-30s and have had 17 jobs, 4 of them full-time, year round jobs. Now, I'm a stay at home mom of 3 little children. When I graduated college, I got a job with a big corporation and thought I'd work there for years. But, a year later, I left that job because I didn't want to move every few months. It used to be that you could live in one city all your life and find jobs there. Now, you have to move to where your job is. The job market has changed from what it was 20 or 30 years ago--even from what it was 10 years ago. When I came across this book, I expected a book with a lot of How-to's. I expected it to be mostly about finding a new job. It is actually mostly a book about coping with unemployment. This book is very readable and interesting. The crux of it is how to cope and realize that your job is not who you are, but to remember that our identity is in Christ. After tackling that issue, the author does tackle how to start finding a...

Reading this book really made me ponder what "Christian Romance" means. One of the types of fiction my daughter's first grade reading book talks about is "realistic fiction". What makes a romance different than realistic fiction? A romance centers around the story of a romantic love between two or more characters. It seems as if romance--and attaining the love of the character's life will fulfill the lives of the main characters. That love is greater than anything else. Books that are romance novels are often not realistic fiction, but I think a lot of authors attempt for them to be realistic. I read Jenna's Cowboy hoping for more of a realistic fiction book that happens to be a romance--rather than the other way around. Jenna's Cowboy is more of a romance. I'll be honest. When I first read it, I didn't think it was a book that I'd really recommend. But, then last week I read a book that I'd really not recommen...

So, here's a thought that was shared with me today. We all put our best foot forward. A friend shared with me that every psychiatrist she's known in her life has their own problems, too. Yes, sometimes it might seem like we don't take our own advice--but don't we all do that? We know what the best choices are to make and yet we still sin and give in to ourselves. And God still forgives us. I think we need to have grace for each other just as God does for us. Here's an example: How can I respond to a mom of a one year old who tells me she knows exactly how I should discipline my three kids? By listening and then realizing that someday she may know herself what it's like to have 3 kids and the craziness that ensues sometimes. And on the other hand she may never know--but that's okay. Rebuking or responding curtly would only be hurtful and unkind. I think it's one of those things that I'm learning with age--to realize that they too will lear...

I have had a lot to contemplate this week about the books I read. Today I have something new. I am having a new experience. For the first time, I am reviewing a book by someone that a good friend of mine knows. Because of that, I have knowledge of who this person is--not who they present themselves to be in their book. I connected the two last night when I read the description of the author. So, I find myself in a quandary. How does that affect how I feel about the book? How does it shape what information I'll take from the book? Can I trust the advice the author gives in her book? Do I want to look to her book for advice? Here are the conclusions I've come to after talking to my husband about it and a friend. My friend pointed out to me that a lot of people present themselves one way and really are another. But, we love them and show them grace anyways. My husband pointed out that I need to review the book based on the book's own merits and exclude what I know. ...

I just finished this Bible Study this morning. It is the second one that I've done by Cynthia Heald in recent months. I was so excited to begin it. And I know why. Cynthia Heald is a wise woman. This Bible Study is similar to the Becoming a Woman of Grace study. It is more focused on God's Word than on Mrs. Heald giving her thoughts about the Word. And I appreciate that. But, I love what she has to share. Her thoughts are candid and honest and encouraging. The quotes she includes are worth remembering and contemplating. This study addresses doubt, testing, walking by faith, and staying strong in our faith. The chapter on doubt was especially good. I'd like to include a sample of how she writes... "After many years of walking with the Lord, I have experienced countless testings. I can say that with every test came the way of escape--a whispered Scripture in my heart to guide or encourage me or a check in my spirit to turn away from what I was about to do. I...

Sometimes it can be a very good that I have to press on to the end of a book that I have agreed to review. Sometimes it can be a very discouraging thing. This week, it is the latter. Last night, I finished a Christian fiction book that I will be posting a review about in 2 weeks. It really wasn't very good. Honestly, I respect authors for writing books. But, I think that we are still supposed to be discerning about what we fill our minds with. And I am going to be a little more reticent to request books that I don't feel very sure about. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV I know that there are going to be times when we read a book and there's going to be hard parts in it--amidst the conflict and struggles of the characters. I do expect that. But, I don't expect a book to be fi...

Rather, I should say "questions", not thoughts. I am reading a Christian fiction book by an African American woman. I felt like I should read it, so I requested it. I'll be honest, I'm caucasian. This book has caused me to ponder a lot of questions about books and writing and I'd love your input. Please forgive me if I use the wrong or not politically correct terms--I get so confused nowadays about what words I'm supposed to use. So, if I use the wrong words--I don't mean to. 1. Do white authors expect black people to read their books? Do they hope they will? 2. Do black authors expect white people to read their books? Do they hope they will? 3. What does race equality mean when it comes to books and movies? So, here's what's going on. I am reading this book. The first third of it I was totally confused! There was no cast of characters in the front and words like "bishop" and "reverend" were used interchangeably. I...

This was something I learned in Sunday school this morning. It seemed very obvious when it was pointed out, but I had never thought of it this way before... Doubters have their own set of beliefs. (it was a point from Tim Keller's book The Reason for God) When I think of someone who doubts God, I usually simply think that they don't believe in God. But, when you doubt God, or for that matter you doubt anything, you still believe something--it just isn't what you're doubting.

I'm a mom of 3 kids...so my purses have to be very practical. I remember when my friend Becky had both a big diaper bag and a little one that she took into stores with her. I followed her example. I'd leave my big bag in the car and take my small one with me. Now that Eli is bigger, I have been able to transition out of the diaper bag stage--but not completely. I still have to be practical and be able to carry all the miscellaneous stuff that I need (including 2 diapers and a few wipes). Last year, I found a new little bag at a garage sale and I was excited about it. I thought it was very cute and I showed it to a friend and she said, "Oh, how sporty." She said it in that way that I knew she was trying to think of something nice to say because she didn't like it. I understood--we had totally different styles. But, it still hurt a little. It made me realize that I really am very practical in my style. Remembering the gal's comment, I was so tempted by...

Strawberry Soup by Sami Strawberries Peaches Put them in a pot. Mix them. Turn the oven on. Soup by Autumn 20 Tablespoons to put in the pot. Chicken broth with some Honeydue. with some eggs. then put it on the stove for 30 minutes! (Punctuation and spelling exactly as she wrote it) =) My husband and I couldn't stop laughing when I shared these with him tonight.

Today I finished reading Once an Arafat Man by Tass Saada with Dean Merrill. It is Tass' biography/autobiography of his life. He was born in Palestine and then forced to move with his family and live as a refugee. He joined the Fatah and fought under Yasser Arafat. This book is his story--of both his life and his faith. Last week, we watched the movie, The Kingdom. It was a powerful and frightening movie. As I read the first part of this book, I put Tass's story in the context of what was in that movie to help me picture what he did and what life was like for him. The first half of the book is very easy to read, not too gory or bloody in its description. It isn't especially engaging writing, but the first half does convey the story of Tass's life well. The second half is really what makes this book worth reading. There are a lot of interesting things to think about in the second half. Pg. 196-200 were particularly powerful to me. On page 197, there is a quote near ...

I was cooking spicy black bean soup when I began to have a lot of random thoughts that I wanted to write down... So, here goes... I miss the places I've been. I grew up out west and I didn't appreciate it as much as I wish I had. I miss Quaker Meadow Camp, going to USC football games, going to the Rose Parade each year, and In-n-out. I hope I will be able to help my children make the most of the experiences they have and help them learn to savor them. I never thought I'd end up living so far away that I wouldn't get to enjoy these things again and yet here I am. I miss those familiar things that I loved about my childhood. Yet, of all the places I've lived, I loved Colorado the most. That was where I really felt like I fit. At the time, I lived there I never wanted to live in the South. Yet, the South is the second place I felt the most comfortable. I am thankful for the warmth and hospitality of the folks in the South. I learned to appreciate manners an...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/m3TQ7D9KX5Y3ZY We watched this clip last night on Amazon. It really was funny. It's from a movie called He's Just Not that Into You. I didn't want to want to watch it when it came out because of the title. I just didn't think I'd like it. But, it turned out that I loved it. There is definitely a lot of language I could do with out and a few scenes (hold onto the remote), but I LOVED the end! In the middle, my husband (who I actually got to watch it with me and he enjoyed it) turned to me and asked me if it did end okay. I told him--yes--the end is my favorite part. A few weeks ago, while mired down amidst taking care of the kids, Molly, our house, and my husband, I was just getting through each day. My husband came home and told me about how he had related the story of our engagement/proposal/dating to a gal and I could tell that he (and the gal) thought it was a great story. At the time, I couldn't see it. It di...