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not being needed

Last night, we had a first. Our first date without Eli. He's 4 1/2 months old and my friend who babysits for us took care of him. We went to dinner by ourselves and then came back and fed him. Then we went out for coffee and came back. We were gone about 2 1/2 hours total. It was strange and good for us to be by ourselves. I didn't have to worry about him waking up or being fussy. Chris said he felt younger and that was good for him--not to feel so old.

The odd part was when we came home Eli didn't "need" me the way Sami used to. Sami was so clingy. We didn't go on a date for the first 12 months of her life because she was so attached and we didn't have anyone she would stay with (in addition to nursing every 2 1/2 hours until she was 12 months old--that made things a little more complicated). So, it feels very different this time. Part of me wants to be needed again that way and another part of me is very, very thankful that I can let him go.

Comments

Kim said…
It's such a double-edged sword, isn't it.
September 8, 2008 at 1:01 PM
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