love to paint

Last night at Bible study, we were discussing the fall and why it's important to see both the goodness and the evilness of man and this world. I thought the reason we need to see both is so that we will have humility about who we are and who God is. If we only see the goodness of man and God, and don't see the evil in the world, then we will forget God and lose sight of Christ and think we don't need God. If we only see the worst of man and this world, we will lose hope and forget the beauty and grace of God. I shared the passage that I posted yesterday and it was particularly relevant to what we were talking about. Many days I get so mired down in the struggles of my days that I don't enjoy my life and my kids. I have been consciously trying to focus on enjoying them and seeing the blessings that they are--I need to look for the goodness because I have to fight getting overwhelmed by the worst of this world. I also shared that I am thankful for the joy my kids hav...

I was reading a new book this morning called The 7 Hardest Things God asks a Woman to Do by Kathie Reimer and Lisa Whittle. I've been reading Let Go by Sheila Walsh and haven't finished it, but it was in my girls room this morning and they were asleep when it was time for me to do my devotions =) Anyways, there was a short snippet that I particularly enjoyed because it is something I feel strongly about. One of the authors shares a story about driving through the industrial part of town that's pretty run down. In the midst of this, her mother (very old at the time) remarks about a beautiful tree that she sees in the midst of the junkyard. The older woman was right--it was indeed beautiful amidst everything around it. The story made me think about whether or not I see God's beauty and his blessings and hope amidst the things that can make me feel like everything is yucky. I try to focus on these things and not get mired down in the yuckiness. I particularly liked h...

I miss it. And I miss LA. I know a lot of people would think I'm crazy for that, but I do. It's where I grew up. There's a longing in my heart to go see the places that I have enjoyed in my life and a growing fear that I won't get to see them again. There are places and people that mean a lot to me--that when I think about I miss quite a lot. I know my husband thinks I'm crazy for missing LA--he's not a city person, but rather a country boy. But, I do. I haven't been back in 7 years. I have always been thankful to be wherever God has put me and generally very content, but there's a little piece of me that still misses the places I have loved. The place that we all grow up in has a very special place of comfort in our hearts, I think. It holds many memories of security and familiarity--even if it changes over the years. It is the place of our first roots. The things, people, and places that remain still hold those memories. I am thankful to t...

I fasted from surfing and television for 5 days. I didn't blog or read any blogs for 8 days. And I didn't check facebook for 6 or 7 days (I'm not sure which). One thing that I hadn't realized was how much I need the internet and computer for. I didn't surf (looking just to look rather than going on the internet because I had to do something), I think, until Friday or watch anything. I did fudge a little bit though if I had a purpose (like looking up some dietary information for a friend). I used the computer only for things I had to do. It made me so aware of how much I look to my computer and the internet for! On Friday afternoon, I was so upset with our puppy that all I wanted to do was go downstairs turn on the television and give my brain and heart a break! Now that says something doesn't it? I called a friend and talked first instead. She challenged me to think about whether or not I would feel guilty. I had work to do and so I went downstairs an...

I've never fasted from food because my blood sugars go out of whack easily even though I'm not hypoglycemic or diabetic. But, this week, I'm going to fast from something else--the television and technology--this computer. I've decided that I'm only going to check my email twice a day and do essential things on the computer. No facebook, no blogging, no shopping (unless I have to order something, but no looking in the process). My desire to fast comes from the feeling that I need to identify the idols in my life. Romans 1:25 "...who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen." from Tim Keller's study on Galatians "...idols are not sinful things, but good and basic things elevated into being ultimate things" "An idol is anything in our lives that occupies the place that should be occupied by God alone." D.M. Lloyd-Jones, in Life in God: Studie...

I'm finally done choosing my curriculum for next year. We finish up school at the end of this week. Yay!! I tested Autumn and she has a 1st grade, 4th quarter reading level/instructional 2nd grade reading level. I think she understands about half of the kindergarten math so we will continue on with that in the fall. Other than that, she is ready to start first grade material in all the other subjects. Really, she wouldn't be starting school in the public school until next year, so she isn't behind in her math. At the beginning of the year, I read a great article that made me realize how important it was to give her time until she was ready. Anyways =) these are my choices for next year: Math: Singapore Math Earlybird B and Primary Mathematics Standards Ed. 1A Reading: Harcourt Trophies Gr. 1 Phonics: Phonics Pathways and Explode the Code (which also takes care of spelling) Handwriting: Letter Workbooks and Write from the Start Writing: First Semester: The Writing...

I finally came to a solution with my math dilemma for Autumn's curriculum. Alpha Omega called as a sales call and I ordered Horizons Math through them. I had looked at it before in the homeschool store, but it's so hard to really look when you have 3 little kids with you =) So, it arrived and I had felt peace about it so I thought, "this must be it". But, it wasn't. My husband is a natural teacher. You write: Teach the clock. He can do it! I can't. How? How do you teach the clock I want to know? How do I explain the hands and the concept of time? Questions bounce around in my head! So, Horizons said, "Teach the clock." Nope, not the curriculum for me. But, thankfully, there is a 30 day moneyback guarantee, so I'm going to mail it back next week. But, that made me feel like I was back at square one! I have been so puzzled about math. I've felt good about the other things I've done with the kids. I'd only had to switch ...

There are times when my husband and I will disagree and he will be upset that something seems like a burden to me. The same can be true from my end. I hate to ask him to do something I need him to if I know it will be a burden. But, here's the thought I had. Or rather a few of them. I force myself to still ask because I know it's important for him to do what I need him to and I know it's good for him to help me =) When my husband says something like that to me about what he sees as a burden to me, I explain to him that yes, indeed it does feel like a burden at times (whatever it may be), but that doesn't mean I don't want to or need to do whatever it is. Out of love I want to do whatever it is. Sometimes that will be easy for me --to accept that responsibility and take it on with joy. Other times, God is going to use it in my heart and I will be like my puppy Molly who wants to walk but doesn't want to heel, but needs to-- I think it's okay for some...

I read a quote by Oswald Chambers this morning about how when we fear God, we fear nothing else. But, when we don't fear God, we fear everything else. I thought that was a very good point.

Yesterday, I was determined that my children would semi coordinate in their clothes and their hair would be done and we might even get to church on time. But, my mother's day reminded me of just what motherhood is--challenging, fun, frustrating, patience stretching, and loving all at the same time. On Saturday, a woman had made a comment to me about a knot being in the back of Sami's hair. Indeed there was a large knot--which meant Sami's hair was too long and she needed a hair cut. So, Sunday morning at 7 am I cut Eli's hair as he was eating in his high chair and then I thought I'd do Sami's. Why did I add that stress right then into my life? No idea. But, I did. I gave up after a few minutes and left half of her hair to be cut a little later (which I did about 20 minutes later when breakfast had started cooking). I did a super quickie hair cut and it seemed pretty even, thank goodness. But, then there was the dressing and putting on the clothes. Autu...

You'll laugh. But, there's something I've always wanted. It's one of those magnets with all the cartoon faces and you put a frame on the one you are. I have never known where to get one. I've also never told anyone (!) that I wanted one. So, such a fun thing happened. My husband bought a Mother's Day card for the girls to give me. It had one of those magnets in it! Except it was a special one for moms. It's pink and it has a happy mom, a stressed mom, an ordering in tonight mom, an eating out tonight mom, an I'm cooking mom, etc. It is fun =) and just what I've always wanted! But, my husband was very wise about something--and I'm going to remember this. He had the girls sign the card after dinner tonight and then gave it to me right afterwards, or rather right after their bath. He knew that they wouldn't be able to keep a secret for even 10 minutes about what the card was right (just like their Mommy and secrets). As she was gett...

I emailed this to a friend, but then I thought I would post it here as well... Before I came to know the Lord, I had a hard time understanding that God knew all of my pain. My dad had raised me to be bitter any time something happened and I thought I deserved something I didn't get. He also raised me to compare myself with everyone else. His first question when I brought home a test was How did you do? And the second was How did everyone else do? Who I was and what I did was never good enough on its merit. When I came to surrender my heart to the Lord and realize that He is in control and I'm not (I held so tightly to control that I thought I had of my life), God comforted me and I knew He loved me. He washed the bitterness and anger from my heart. I had tried for years to get rid of it on my own and I couldn't. But, He did. God sent a friend to me to help me realize that God loved me and felt all of my pain. God did a lot of things through that in my life. I went to severa...

Yesterday a friend made a comment to me about the struggle older children have sometimes with jealousy when a younger sibling comes along. So, I asked Autumn if she was glad we have Sami and Eli. She said "Yes!" with a great big smile. I asked Sami if she was glad to have Autumn and then Eli--and to each she also gave a big "Yes!" with a big smile--my exuberant little girl that she is. I am thankful that they love each other and really do get a long--most of the time =) My friend's comment did caution me though. I feel it is important that all my children will feel loved and not neglected over another. It is so easy, I think, to do that when one child has more needs, but I desire to guard against that!

On Saturday we had a couple over and the husband asked why we homeschool. Chris succinctly answered that it is because we feel we can give a better education to our kids at home. If we didn't, then we wouldn't do it. But, then on Sunday, I was chatting with a gal at church and I realized that most of the time I think of homeschooling in terms of what it does for the kids--the benefits for them, not for us as a family or for me and Chris. The gal mentioned that when homeschooling, the parents don't have to run kids to and from school every day and then tackle homework every night. It made me realize that I don't have to do that! Every May, I am relieved when the preschool year ends =) and I have a few months off from getting my child off to the high school twice a week (and it's only 1/4 mile away!!) =) It made me realize how thankful I am to be homeschooling and that although it seems to make life crazier in some ways--I think it actually makes it more manage...

Life isn't easy for anyone. Sometimes I think Satan tries to convince me that it's easier for everyone else and that I should be jealous of others. But, one of Satan's greatest tricks is to twist what we know to be true and to lie to us. I think Satan tries to tell us that life should be easy. I met a woman at church today who's marriage is in a rough spot. She has 4 children and I think she feels that she's at the end of her rope and alone. I mentioned the small group that we host each week in our home. She commented that she hopes we'll be able to keep it up--inferring that we might not be able to with 3 kids. Three kids and a puppy has been really hard for me, but I have realized that God has gotten me through each day. I was convicted this morning in church that at times I have looked at my children as burdens. I have been focusing on me, rather than them. So, I had just been convicted of this and then this woman poured out her burdens to me. I felt...