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Well-behaved behavior, but not from the heart...

I'm always curious about new parenting books. And I'm especially curious when they mention discipline. The Well-Behaved Child is all about discipline. At first, I was impressed by the author's willingness to go against the grain and say some things that our culture today isn't very fond of. But, as I got into the book more and more I came disagree with the book.

This book focuses almost exclusively on behavior as the problem. Near the very end, the author does mention the heart and scripture, but there are only a few mentions of praying and God in the book. I could readily recommend this book to someone who doesn't believe in God and I think if they were looking for a book about discipline, this would give them some ideas.

But, as a Christian, I don't think I could follow this author's advice. It is missing grace. Our Father has grace for us--shouldn't we also as parents? In Shepherding a Child's Heart, Ted Tripp identifies that there are times for rebuke, times for instruction, times for warning, times for encouragement. As parents, we need to think about how to respond to a child's actions and behavior.

John Rosemond jumps immediately to discipline. I'll be honest. Before I read Tripp's book, I was inclined to do the same! But, I was convicted several years ago that that is my folly--to jump immediately to discipline.

I don't recommend this book. If you're an old school type parent, you may struggle with grace. If you're a co-parenting type of parent, you may find yourself too graceful and justifying your parenting to your child when you have to discipline him/her. This book is on one extreme and so I don't think it is the best book out there to encourage parents on either end of the spectrum. Grace is important--but grace doesn't negate the need for discipline and instruction.

Comments

Susan said…
Enjoyed this - I reading the book now and it does come across a bit harsh. Also, as a mom of a child with ADHD I get annoyed when Rosemond tends to blow that off as well (although I had a similar opinion before my 3rd child had it!). Thanks!
October 6, 2009 at 10:33 AM
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