Quite a weekend

It seems very surreal that Molly got lost on Saturday. You'd never know by the look of her. She acts just like normal--not really phased by it. Thankfully, I think we've recovered too. I can't even fathom what it would feel like to lose a child after losing Molly. It was so scary to me! With Sami being one who must touch everything, she spends a lot of time in carts.

My husband and I had an interesting discussion about kids and dogs and this was the kids part from my end. I have come to feel that as much as I would like to give my kids the freedom to walk and not hold my hand, it isn't safe. If we are in a store, 90% of the time Sami travels in the big part of the cart and Eli in the top. If the cart is big enough, Autumn also sits with Sami. It's just easier and safer. No one gets lost. More than that, it's lots less stressful for me. Sami just doesn't seem to be able to control herself yet and not touch everything in the store! That can make for very stressful trips for me if she is walking on her own.

When Autumn was 15 months old, I realized that I should have been training her from a much younger age to hold my hand when we were out. I say much younger because she started walking at 9 months. I had wanted to give her that freedom and enjoy the innocence of those first steps and learning to walk. But, I realized when she was 15 months that I also, more importantly, needed to teach her to be safe by holding Mommy's hand and it became an issue of submitting to authority and obeying Mommy, too.

I'm going through the same thing with Eli now. But, this time if he won't hold my hand, I just pick him up. He's got a lot of Sami's spunk and so I need to make sure he understands he needs to hold my hand and be safe. I'm okay if he holds the girls' hands instead--just as long as it's somebody's hands.

There is a desire in our hearts to give our children freedom, because it seems that enjoyment will come in that. But, that freedom needs to come when they're ready for it, I think. If we give it to them too soon, it can be a very unsafe thing. It's hard for mom to be strong and insist on holding hands, but I know it's the best thing for my kids and me.

God is teaching me about sitting under His authority and I see that with my kids every day.